January 30, 2013 at 5:54 p.m.
Looking after parents a duty second only to prayer
I seem to be making cakes for parents and grandchildren quite a lot these days.
We are young enough to care for our aging parents and old enough to be grandparents!
We are indeed the sandwich generation; we're stuck right in the middle!
Between helping my siblings care for my aging parents, I assist my children, when needed, to care for my grandchildren.
Sometimes I wonder, "where and when will it be time for me?"
But it's all good, because I'm happy and grateful to be able to be of assistance to both generations; knowing that I am fulfilling my obligations and commitments to my family, and most of all to my God.
High value and importance is placed on family in Islam, albeit Allah warns us that they will be our trial.
Allah knows that it is not easy to contend with youth and age at the same time, but patience, consistency and kindness to them will be rewarded and blessings will be given from Him.
It should be obvious that our parents deserve our utmost respect and devotion - second only to God.
Speaking in the Quran, Allah says: "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final Goal." (31:14)
The fact that God has mentioned parents in the same verse as Himself shows the extent to which we should strive in our efforts to serve the mothers and fathers who sacrificed so much for us.
Even if we feel that our parents treated us unfairly - God says to honour them unconditionally, hence we have no choice but to do the right thing, indeed it will make us better people.
Old folks' homes
In the Islamic world, one rarely finds "old people's homes." The strain of caring for one's parents in this most difficult time of their lives is considered an honour and a blessing and an opportunity for great spiritual growth.
In Islam, it is not enough that we only pray for our parents, but we should act with limitless compassion, remembering that when we were helpless children, they preferred us to themselves.
Mothers are particularly honoured. We are taught that when Muslim parents reach old age, they must be treated mercifully, with kindness and selflessness.
In Islam, serving one's parents is a duty second to prayer, and it is their right to expect it.
It is considered despicable to express any irritation when, through no fault of their own, the old become difficult.
The Quran says: "Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, or scold them, but say a generous word to them. And act humbly to them in mercy, and say, "My Lord, have mercy on them, since they cared for me when I was small." (Quran, 17:23-24)
At the end of the day, when I watch my parents and my grandchildren content and happy from the care that I have given them, all fatigue is banished away and I feel inspired and strong enough to do it all over again the next day.
I hold on to the words of the Quran ""Those who believe, and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah! Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction." (Quran 13:28) and I ask Allah the sublime for continued strength and health to fulfill my family duties.
At the end of the day, those who take care of their family obligations have a clear conscience, comforted by knowing that striving to follow the prescribed methods of conduct within our families not only brings us closer within our hearts to our Creator but also nourishes the condition of the soul with pleasure and satisfaction.
My sister June, sent me this "Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... somebody never had grandchildren." Isn't it the truth!
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