Open letter to the Premier

Dear Cousin Craig,

According to www.ancestry.com we are related via our St Kitts ancestors. Go Figure. After listening to your “collaboration speech” at the Labour Day March I figured “hey, family first”. I have put together a list of things we should collaborate on because as you said “the age of conflict is over.”

In-house issues

• Stop complaining about the last 14 years. If my memory serves me correctly, around 1998 you were working at People’s Pharmacy. You now run three gas stations. Seems you Sousa, Dunkley, Gibbons, Glenn Smith and many others all had huge success under the PLP years. 
• Most of the civil service does not trust the OBA, so they are telling us everything you guys are doing. Why do you think so much info is on Facebook first? Just be transparent.
• Campaign financing disclosure; eliminate the chance of undue influence by outside corporations or seedy individuals.

Cost cutting 

• You don’t need Don Grearson AND your press secretary. That is $250,000 per annum. I will write your speeches for one Degraff’s beef pie every week.
• There are five empty Government owned buildings we can renovate and convert into offices. We can then move Government staff out of those expensive buildings in Hamilton, saving $15 million in rental fees.
• Let Leah Scott go as Minister without Portfolio. No one has been able to convincingly explain what she does to earn $106,444 per year.
• Give Nalton Brangman an unpaid time out; it’s clearly not him who’s running the Department of Education, if recent public utterances by colleagues are anything to go by. He will easily “get over it”. Another big saving.

Civil Service

• Let’s set aside some funds to help the civil servants you are about to let go start up their own business to take advantage of the privatization programme you guys are about to start. After all they know their jobs best, right?
• Send Dr Heatley back home. Put a Bermudian First.

Social issues

• Let’s actually give Bermudian women a voice to express their feelings about sexism.
• Let’s jointly address those crazy commentators on some of the news websites. They really make all Bermudians look silly. 
• Have a pow wow with the churches. They are gearing up against the Human Rights Act and gaming. Let Pettingill take one for the team.

You see, “collaboration or lack of conflict” does not mean everybody just goes along with what rich people say that we must do. It means the rich and poor have to sit at the same table as equals. Anything short of that will result in continued social division.

You seemingly have some say with the rich folks, so let them know we are willing to talk. This could be your ‘kumbaya’ moment.

And the next time you get the private jet, let me know. We can go back to St Kitts and visit our family village. Finally, blood, I must say your speech delivery has improved a lot lately.

Your Cousin, 

Chris