Rocking Roman's empire

For about half-an-hour on Monday, people believed the rumour Roman Abramovich had been arrested by the FBI.

Early reports suggested it was for passing Fernando Torres off as a £50m striker.

Others believed it was for human trafficking — how else can you explain the number of managers at Stamford Bridge in recent years, or the appointment of Avram Grant?

Rather sharpishly, though, the Russian’s PR machine stepped in and confirmed the multi-millionaire was NOT, I repeat (for his lawyers) NOT, under questioning by the FBI.

While the above are not criminal offences, they are offensive to the majority of football fans, even some Chelsea supporters.

I can only imagine the scene in the Liverpool boardroom when they received the Torres offer.

Liverpool: “£15m? We accept.”

Chelsea: “Err, no, we actually said £50m?

Liverpool: “Oh right, hold on…”

Crazy high fives between the suits.* Clears throat, straightens tie.

Liverpool: “Again. We accept.”

Chelsea: “S***.”

As for Chelsea managers, they can’t really complain they don’t know what they’re getting into any more.

You’ll have money to spend but it’s success or the bullet. Or sometimes success and the bullet. No doubt the payoffs are good, though.

This weekend and the following Monday Rafael Benitez has a golden opportunity to appease Chelsea supporters who, generally speaking, simply don’t want him anywhere near their club.

Chelsea play Southampton away on Saturday, a chance to strengthen their Champions League claims, and then take on Manchester United in their FA Cup quarter-final replay at Stamford Bridge on Monday.

One feels the latter represents Benitez’s real chance to leave his mark on the club before he goes the way of so many others this summer.

*This smugness clearly morphed into stupidity soon after as they spent £35m of it on Andy Carroll.

Premier League

Saturday

12pm unless stated

Sunderland v Man Utd

9:45am

I fear for Sunderland. Martin O’Neill’s lost his mojo and now their main striker, Steven Fletcher faces a lengthy spell out. Four points above the drop zone and the champions elect are coming to town. Ouch.

Prediction: 0-2

Arsenal v Reading

Nigel Adkins yesterday took over at Reading, succeeding the recently sacked Brian McDermott. Can’t begrudge Adkins another shot after the shabby way he was treated by Saints. Gunners will win this, though.

Prediction: 3-1

Man City v Newcastle

City have regressed this season. Aguero, Tevez don’t have the same zip up front and Vincent Kompany has not been nearly as imposing at the back. They’ll be stung into a response after two defeats in four.

Prediction: 3-1

Southampton v Chelsea

Good away from home, Demba Ba looking lively again and Frank Lampard closing in on the club’s all-time goalscoring record —it all means one thing.

Prediction: 1-3

Swansea v Tottenham

Two straight league defeats for Spurs mean the pressure is on to make sure the derby win over Arsenal is not wasted by a poor run-in. It’s the defining part of the season for AVB’s boys.

Prediction: 0-2

West Ham v West Brom

Given West Ham’s stuttering form in the second half of the season, it’s clear how desperate they are to get survival sewn up. They’ll see this as a real chance for three points.

WBA’s Steve Clarke is a definite contender for manager of the season, by the way.

Prediction: 1-1

Wigan v Norwich

The Latics look to be finding form as they attempt to pull another rabbit out of the hat. Will their FA Cup semi-final distract them?

The Canaries have as many draws as Grant Holt has pies. Not their day.

Prediction: 2-0

Everton v Stoke

2.30pm

Winner of the most unsurprising stat of the season: Stoke have won the most aerial balls with 58 per cent. Reports suggest manager Tony Pulis is furious at such a low figure.

Prediction: 2-2

Sunday

Aston Villa v Liverpool

10:30am

Aston Villa have won their past two games as they look to clamber out of trouble. Every time the Reds bask in some sort of “progress” they get beat as they did at Southampton. Can’t see them playing as badly again.

Prediction: 1-2

Monday

Fulham v QPR

5pm

QPR’s bid for the Great Escape hit the buffers a little with defeat to Villa. Apparently Rangers owner Tony Fernandez believes the club have put down foundations and would come straight back up. Mmmm...

Prediction: 2-2

Chelsea v Man United

9:30am

FA Cup quarter-final replay

Many will feel Chelsea missed their best chance of beating United at Old Trafford when Sir Alex Ferguson’s men were clearly still wounded from their defeat to Real Madrid in the Champions League.

They are at home at least but United won’t give them so many chances again, surely. 

Prediction: 1-2