Skelton is shaping up for Jesus

Baring almost everything isn’t that big a deal if you’re just paddling on the beach.

But what if you were centre-stage at City Hall? This is exactly where I’ll be in October, playing the title role in the Gilbert & Sullivan Society’s production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Performing on stage is nothing new to me. I was in London from 2001 to 2010 making a moderate living from acting (chasing the dream and all that). It was only when my wife — Bermudian singer and actress Jennie Campbell — and I were ready to chase that other wonderful dream (starting a family) that we decided to give up the touring life and settle down in Bermuda with our little boy.

Admittedly, I have worn close to nothing on stage before now — but not in roles where the imagery, that of Christ on the cross, is so universally known and revered. Jesus in ‘Superstar’ is a part I’ve coveted for many years; the fantastic songs, an unforgettable solo number, the epic scale of the show, not to mention the opportunity as a Christian to offer my own considered interpretation of my saviour’s character (within the boundaries of the script, that is!)

But what about a physical resemblance to Jesus?

Even though we don’t know what Jesus actually looked like, images are fixed in our minds from the countless depictions of him in books, paintings, sculptures — even movies. And he’s always slim — unlike most carpenters I’ve met, who carry a little meat around the midriff. My job at the Sun is sedentary and daddyhood has also slowed me down a tad. I’ve scoffed more loaves than fishes and consequently, my love handles are conspicuously unchristlike. In short, it’s time to Shape up for the Saviour!

I’ve never been a gym kind of guy but thankfully Scott Stallard, owner of The Olympic Club (and renowned photographer), is refreshingly matter-of-fact about exercise. “It’s really very simple,” he said. “You just have to make yourself do it”.

Scott’s evangelistic in his advocacy of brisk walks, small but regular meal portions, vegetables and water — whilst himself humbly confessing a struggle to keep away from fries. “Once it’s in, you can’t get it out. Eating rubbish and then doing a session at the gym won’t make a difference. If you take poison, you can’t exercise it away.”

Flattening my belly is a key goal and in my first session, Scott set me to work on stomach crunches. I was to perform as many crunches as I could until I felt the ‘burn’. Not really knowing what the ‘burn’ is, I kept going beyond when it hurt a little, to when I was really starting to wince. I made it to 42. I thought that was okay for a novice and felt just a bit smug.

This smugness would return to punch me in the gut later: After a full session on the weight machines I had to finish with the same number of crunches. And now every session will start and end with crunches, numbering at least one more than the previous session each time. The question is, which will flatten out first — my gut or my willpower?

Scott’s got me on a three-month diet and exercise plan and it will be you guys who get to judge whether I’ve achieved ‘the look’ (via some of those embarrassing before-and-after photos).

In fact, if you want to add to the encouragement — or pressure! — you can sponsor my efforts. All proceeds will go to the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Bermuda charity. And remember, you only pay-up if I shape-up! E-mail me on: [email protected] or call 278-1880.

Watch this space for monthly updates on Gary’s progress.