Loving support must be sustained as grief can last a long time

WEDNESDAY, JULY 4: When you get the news that your loved one has passed away there is an agony that you experience and you feel like you will never get through the hurt.

At the hospital you are supported by your family and friends and the support continues when you return home with visits, phone-calls, cards, flowers, prayers, food and words of encouragement.

The funeral arrangements have been made and the funeral doesn’t take place for another week. During that time, everyone is still being supportive by, cooking, and calling.

The Day of the funeral arrives and now you are overwhelmed with support; without it you don’t know how you would have made it through that day.

The funeral is over and for about a week or two after, you are still receiving calls, cards, and food, but what people don’t realize is that the grief process doesn’t stop after a few weeks. For some people it can take years for them to cope with the loss of their loved one and the support should not stop. The calls and just visiting them from time to time helps them along the way.

Delayed grief is an abnormal grief where people that have lost loved ones will not feel the grief until months or years from the time of death and if you have forgotten about them and stopped calling and checking up on them, they will start to feel lonely and vulnerable which can lead to them harming themselves or they can get so depressed that  they can’t even function any more.

Sometimes people don’t even show their grief and you say to yourself “they look like their coping with it now” but it’s not necessarily true as they could be masking their grief and you find it more in males because of the cultural and social factors. They do not want to show people that they are hurting and appreciative of the cards and visits but they really are.

I encourage you today to check up on your friends and family, make sure that they are okay. On special occasions send them a card and on their loved  ones birthday that passed away, It shows that you have not forgotten about them.

On a Saturday or a Sunday, stop by their house with a pie, cake or even just to hold conversation with them. Sometimes getting out of the house is good, so invite them to a barbeque or gathering to get them out of the house.

Remember you just don’t know what people are going through and just a call or visit can save their life. Grief doesn’t stop over night and people dealing with it need you more than ever.

• Leron Minors is a Licensed Funeral Director/embalmer.