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So tourism is down, casino gambling is back on the table and Church leaders are against the idea. What were the odds on that trifecta coming in?

The "Church Police" say gambling is a vice - well in my experience most fun things are! They can preach to their congregations about the evils of fun all they like, but they don't have the right to subject me to their narrow-minded dogma. And for people who claim to be against all gambling they sure host a lot of bingo games.

Of course they'll claim these are fundraisers for a worthy cause, but if you pay money to enter a game of chance for the opportunity of winning a big prize that's called "gambling". Just because the proceeds go to good works and not to Tony Soprano doesn't change that reality.

And I've got more news for them - every raffle ticket you ever bought or sold was a lottery ticket - pure and simple. But these "Holier than Thou" Hypocrites have no problem with these games as long as they're the ones profiting.

Of course they're not the only ones guilty of a double standard: gambling is illegal in Bermuda, but I can go to a Government licensed betting shop and place a wager on virtually any sporting event in the world.

Then there's the Stock Market. No not the Crown and Anchor tent, although that's an obvious example of officially sanctioned illegal gambling. I'm talking about the billion dollar bookies on Wall Street. You put money into the Market hoping to get more money out, but you have no control over the outcome. That's gambling - just ask anyone with AIG or XL shares. And not only is this form of gambling legal it's REQUIRED by Government for your private pension plan.

In fact the whole sub-prime mortgage mess we're stuck in now was only possible because there is more regulation on a slot machine in Reno than there was on the banking industry. What they did might have been unethical, but it wasn't actually illegal...now where have I heard that before?

The point is Casino gambling is regulated, taxed and fun - what's the problem?

Nanny state

And what's up with these people who are fine with casinos as long as Bermudians are excluded? Do they think we need a "Nanny State" to look after us? Gambling is okay for tourists (and presumably expats) but Bermudians are too stupid or lacking in self-control to be trusted with our own money? Or are they just xenophobic parasites who have so little regard for foreigners that they just want to suck 'em dry and send them home? Either way they're wrong.

Now I'm not a gambler, but when my wife and I are on one of our frequent cruises we like to stop by the casino of an evening and have a flutter. Strict daily limits are enforced so we have a little entertainment and "heaven forbid" maybe even a little excitement - no harm done. I've seen the people feeding money into a slot machine for hours on end and I don't get it.

But then I spend hundreds of dollars in the spa to have attractive young women rub oil on my naked body - with no prospect of a "happy conclusion". Who's really throwing their money away?

But is casino gambling the answer for Bermuda's tourism woes? It's not like casinos are rare these days: everyone knows about Las Vegas or as I like to call it "Area 51 Double D". Scientists looking for silicon based life forms need look no further than "Sin City". Everything in Vegas is fake - only the fake stuff is real.

Nowadays almost every U.S. State has a local tribe with its own casino, there are Mississippi River boats and even Niagara Falls has a casino. No one is going to come to Bermuda just to gamble, but it will give them (and us) something to do while they're here.

Quality entertainment

But as I see it, the big potential for a casino is that it might generate enough cash so that we can actually get quality entertainment performing nightly - so that even if you're not a gambler you can still get dinner and a show. Who knows, maybe there will be enough income to give local entertainers the chance to actually earn a living year round.

They could put it in the old Casemates Prison or even at Club Med (there's no way any thing else is going to get built there now) and run free fast ferries and buses around the clock.

To keep the riff raff out we'd need to enforce a dress code, but insisting that men have to wear socks will discourage a big majority of the undesirables and excluding all MPs and Senators will eliminate most of the rest.[[In-content Ad]]

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