Showing from March 22: Olympus has Fallen *

Olympus has Fallen *

Stars: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman.
Director: Antoine Fuqua.
Rated: R
Showing: Speciality Theatre. For show times call 292-2135.
Runtime: 120 minutes
Action, thriller

Olympus Has Fallen is everything an audience nostalgic for the Steven Seagal killfests of the ‘90s expects and deserves.

‘Splosions. Shrapnel. White people being taken prisoner by nonwhite people, then rescued by white people. Cheesy banter.

A lead actor who grumbles his tough-guy dialogue like he knows he’s The Man. Bodies riddled with bullets and a script riddled with cliches. It’s a terrible movie so generic in plotting and execution that its very familiarity will allow some fans to convince themselves it’s not that bad.

Gerard Butler, his eyebrows in a consternated V, plays a former presidential bodyguard demoted to a desk job after an accident on his watch scarred the First Family. He leaps back into action when a rogue force of North Koreans launch simultaneous air and ground assaults on the White House, which is hosting the South Korean premier.

The sequestration budget cuts must have really undermined Homeland Security, since the protective response is about as successful as if Chief Wiggum led the charge.

Missile defenses fizzle like soggy Roman candles. A phalanx of security men obligingly run into the barrage and fall like mannequins. Only Butler, who has mastered the art of running serpentine through machine gun fire, is left to take charge inside the darkened presidential residence.