Why Islam forbids ‘cutting off’ your family members

It is an ugly fact; there is a very high percentage of family in Bermuda that do not speak to each other for one reason or another. 

Many times parents ‘cut off’ the offending child or family member.

For the sake of clarity, when one is ‘cut-off’ by family, that means they are as good as dead, for they are no longer embraced or invited by the family.  

As small as Bermuda is, there are many families that just don’t get along and therefore, many of the younger family members don’t even know their own kin.  

What a terrible scenario, to be deprived of knowing your family because of some insignificant family rift.

Materialism

In Islam ‘cutting off’ family members is forbidden. The importance of kinship and maintaining the ties of kinship is ultimate. 

Prophet Muhammad said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship.” (Bukhari). 

This means that if you truly believe in God and fear the Day of Judgment, you will maintain at all cost, the bonds of kinship which equals family.

Allah urges us to be kind and compassionate in the way we deal with family — both immediate and extended family members. 

Family is the nucleus of a greater society and thus good family relationships will undoubtedly result in better world relationships.

Allah knows everything because He is the All-Knower and therefore in His mercy He has given us the Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad to follow.  

Allah knows that severing ties with family members is not conducive to the fostering of a healthy and productive community. 

Therefore, we should avoid breaking ties based on petty problems such as money, personal grudges, envy and differences in religious beliefs.

Most times, the rift causing family break-ups is that of money.  

We are so materialistic that we let the affairs of money and finance come between us.  

There are many scenarios that we all can relate to where money is the dividing factor.  

Allah says in the Holy Quran, “And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (ie. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives) and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home.” (Ar-Rad:25/Muhammad:22-23).

In this verse, Allah curses those who sever their ties with their family. 

These people are deprived of the mercy of Allah. 

Allah urges Muslims to be kind and compassionate to those who are economically and financially in need. 

Providing financial support to family members in the time of need is a pious act and Allah rewards those people immensely.  

I know of a father who owns a business and he will not hire his own sons, he prefers to let strangers work for him.

His sons do not want a hand-out, just a job, and this he does not do.

This type of unseemingly conduct is a sin in the eyes of Allah.  

Charity begins at home and children have rights over their parents — family always should come first.

However, as God is the God of Justice, this father will be duly rewarded for his unethical ways.  

Allah has said that our family will be our trials, so these sons should not hold a grudge, but pray that their father’s ways will change and that he will seek the pleasure of Allah and become a better and more just father, before it’s too late.

We should never let grudges stand in the way of family. We must seek forgiveness from our family as well as from Allah. 

Those who forgive and accept apologies are among the ones most loved by Allah.  

Allah wants us to have a clean and pure heart, free of misunderstandings, malice and ill intent towards others, especially the ties of family that so closely bind us. Ameen.