Now Showing: A Haunted House *

Stars: David Koechner; Essence Atkins; Cedric The Entertainer; Nick Swardson; Affion Crocket; Marlon Wayans.
Director: Michael Tiddes.
Rated: R
Showing: Southside Theatre. Fri-Sat 7.45pm; Sun 4.30pm, 7.45pm; Mon-Thurs 7.45pm.
Runtime: 86 minutes
Comedy, horror

As Zero Dark Thirty sparks debate over waterboarding, we’re left to wonder if there might be some other way to obtain information from enemy non-combatants.

I’d suggest forcing them to watch A Haunted House, the new Marlon Wayans movie and alleged comedy, a parody of the Paranormal Activity franchise. A parody that is, in its own way, more horrifying than the real thing.

It stars Wayans as Malcolm, a single man about to invite his girlfriend (Essence Atkins) to move in with him. For about two minutes, it looks like Wayans might be on to something — looking for humour in the idea of a significant other invading your house and upending your life like some kind of poltergeist.

Wayans ditches all that for routine Scary Movie lowjinks, and in the process sets a modern non-Sandler record for flatulence jokes. Also offered — a racist home security salesman (David Koechner), neighbours (Alana Ubach, Andrew Daly) who want to swing, a disgruntled Latina maid and an invisible ghost whose tactics include sexual assault. Nick Swardson plays a gay man with an intense interest in Malcolm.

It is all nearly laugh-free, although Cedric the Entertainer has 30 or 40 funny seconds as a cut-rate exorcist.

Not enough, though, to save A Haunted House from being an early contender for next year’s Golden Raspberry.

Could it have a second life as an alternative to water-boarding?

I doubt the Geneva Convention would allow it.