Global beer selection of UN proportions

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 17: There are at least two problems when you ask a trio of Scots with time on their hands if they’d like to taste a global selection of beers.

The first is that you risk death or serious injury in a mini-stampede — and the second is that the world is a big place with upwards of 196 countries, so it could all end in tears.

But sometimes you just have to put personal considerations aside in pursuit of the story — so it was that myself, a friend from Scotland (see his review HERE) and his wife visited the new Newport gastropub at the Fairmont Southampton Resort.

The new-look for the venerable Newport Room includes a selection of United Nations proportions, from Scandinavia via Bermuda to Australia — a grand total of almost 40 different beers, including a selection of ten on tap.

I tried around six myself, from Denmark to England to Ireland, with a detour through Bermuda and on to New York and Boston. And the Dockyard Brewing Company proved once again that wee Bermuda is perfectly capable of punching well above its weight.

But before the nice folks from anti-alcohol abuse charity CADA get on my case, they were all sampled as part of the gastropub’s Triple Taster offer.

That gives you three beers in dinky little one-third of a pint glasses making a grand total of two pints  — a most civilized way to enjoy a variety of tastes. But I still wasn’t driving home, I hasten to add.

One glaring omission, however, is the lack of a selection of Scottish beers.

We might be more famous for whisky, but we generally export most of that on the grounds that it really doesn’t taste very nice and US tastebuds are ruined by fast food and frozen cold fizzy stuff masquerading as beer, anyway.

I don’t like golf either, so it’s just as well I live in Bermuda or I would have been stripped of my kilt and thrown on the first train to England by now.

Which could be a bit embarrassing as all those rumours about what Scotsmen do — or more importantly don’t — wear under the kilt happen to be true.

But Fairmont should really take a look at Harviestoun, Broughton and Deuchars from Edinburgh’s Caledonian Brewery as potential stablemates of their already comprehensive range.

The new Newport is a work in progress and plans include the installation of a bar and an even wider selection of fine ales and lagers.

But the food already has come close to perfection, with an astonishing and mouthwatering array that had my friends Graeme and Clare doing their best lobster impersonation.

That’s bright red — well, they are Scottish and they had been to the beach — and with eyes on stalks.

The staff — who have had the benefit of intensive coaching from a beer expert — appeared knowledgeable, both about the food, much of it locally sourced, and the beer.

One assured me that the Mahi Mahi on the menu was landed at 11am and with the chefs, the same who gave the former Newport Room its five diamond status, by 1pm. Any fresher than that, you really need your own boat.

The switch in theme was partly sparked by a sea change in vacation habits — the days when people arrived with steamer trunks of clothes for every occasion are long gone.

Fairmont — quite sensibly — decided that more casual visitors with less luggage demanded a more relaxed experience.

With special Oktoberfest events planned, if you haven’t visited the Newport yet, it’s a good month to go.

Staff member Saurabh Dange — who was more than happy to recommend the best beer to accompany lemon tart and chocolate pudding — summed it up best: “It’s high end food and great beer, served without pretension.”

And cheers — or slainte in my native tongue — to that.