January 30, 2013 at 5:54 p.m.
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina
Director: Mike Newell
Rated: PG-13
Runtime: 116 minutes
Action/adventure/fantasy
Movies based on video games usually range from mediocre to terrible — Super Mario Bros, Street Fighter, Tomb Raider — and this doesn’t buck the trend.
The characters are one-dimensional, the dialogue is cringeworthy, the performances are wooden despite the talented cast and the plot creaks more than a screen door in a hurricane.
Action lovers will like the (often badly shot and edited) thrills and spills although fans of more classical sword-and-sandals tales like Spartacus or Gladiator will think it is an ancient ruin.
Set in ancient Persia, the movie opens with King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup), his sons Tus and Garsiv (Richard Coyle and Toby Kebbell) and adopted son Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) besieging the city of Alamut.
Guided by Sharaman’s shady brother Nizam (Ben Kingsley), they are on the hunt for weapons of mass destruction — yes, the writers actually went there.
They also steal a magical dagger that can turn back time, guarded by princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton).
But Dastan discovers his evil uncle plans to use the dagger to unleash the sands of time and change the past — a move that could destroy the world — so he flees with Tamina to hide it forever.
Playing an action hero is an image-defying role for Gyllenhaal, who is better known for serious roles such as Brokeback Mountain.
His talent is wasted here — any Z-list muscleman could have played this bland role.
Oscar-winning Ben Kingsley is also below par as a ridiculously cartoonish and over-the-top villain.
The only highlight in this muddled movie is the sweeping orchestral score.
Watch if you liked: The Mummy, Final Fantasy.
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