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Let us take a look at something today. I believe that almost everyone over the age of forty-two has in their memory bank an episode of what today would be termed "abuse". We called it "correction" back then. You knew that good mother was not injuring her child. No, she was correcting her child. As a matter of fact, when a responsible parent has to physically correct her child, I believe it really does hurt the parent more than it hurts the child. There is no joy in having to use the physical rod of correction.

The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Back in the day, we understood that training was a necessary discipline implemented in order to bring about a particular desired result. The parent trained the child, for his or her own good. A responsible parent refused to allow outside environmental conditions to mold and make their child. Indeed, when anything, occurring outside of the home, influenced their child in a negative way and the child brought it back home (in attitude or in deed), the training process "kicked in". That is, there was correction in a particular way.

I was trained. I was 49 per cent trained through verbal commands. All my mother or daddy had to do was look at me or raise their voice to me, and I was hurt. Yes, the hurt felt permanent, but it was not long before the love my parents had for me caused all other pain to vanish away.

I believe that I was 49 per cent trained through watching the actions of others and then decided that their examples were wonderful teaching tools of how not to do things. It just made sense that if so and so was punished for doing a particular thing or acting in a particular way, then it stood to reason, that I should avoid that way. Yes, even as a child, those things just made logical sense.

I was 1 per cent trained in the school system. There was that unforgettable experience in Primary School when I was about eight years old. I had scratched a girl (I am sure in self-defence), and was subsequently called to the Office. There was Mrs. Harvey, with her hair neatly in a French roll, and I was about to be strapped. I will say that from that day on, I have never used my fingernails as a weapon again.

Then there was that 1 per cent of being trained through the physical rod of correction. It was a nightmare, which I clearly remember to this day. Ironically, even to this day I testify to my parents that I was wrongfully accused and therefore wrongfully strapped. That's right! My parents strapped me - both of them strapped me. I will tell you of a truth, that correction drove any thoughts of doing wrong (for real) far from me. I was permanently corrected after that day.

From that moment on, I lived my life understanding that wrong or even perceived wrong can result in punishment that hurts. Not being one for pain, I decided that it would be best, that for the rest of my life, I avoid the physical rod of punishment. I have preferred to adhere to the verbal commands of correction.

Let us be very careful to understand that the Bible does not support physical abuse of our children. The rod of correction can be:

n a look you give your child

n the manners and training you instil in the life of your child

n time-out methods

n the physical rod of correction (spanks).

Bermuda, if we do not discipline our children from birth and throughout their years of growth, we will have trained them to be undisciplined. An infant is a tender branch, who is able to be trained (groomed, bent towards goodness). If left untrained, the child will naturally bend to whatever force is the greatest influence around them.

Bermuda, we have sown the wind and we are now reaping the whirlwind. Know that it is not to late to begin to turn things around. It will take real parents being real parents to do so. That way, real children can be real children, rather than gangsters, and the like.

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