Striker’s menu boasts some tasty TV shows

Barnabas Collins, Dark Shadows, Count Dracula, True Blood, Twilight. What do they all have in common? Well, they obviously were the shows that Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez has grown up watching. 

This week, the World Cup competition became his latest feeding ground for the flesh and blood of opposing football players. Senor Suarez has developed quite an acquired taste for the DNA of other human beings. Let’s have a look at his menu:

• While playing at Ajax in Holland in 2010, he bit PSV Eindhoven’s Otman Bakkal on the shoulder; 

• While playing for Liverpool in 2013, he bit Chelsea’s Branislov Ivanovic on the arm;

• While playing for Uruguay in the 2014 World Cup, he bit Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini. 

So as you can see, he has developed quite a wide palate of international taste in food; Serbian, Russian and now Italian. He obviously does not like English food, as he did not bite any English players during Uruguay’s game vs England. Perhaps he is allergic to hollandaise sauce or fish and chips?

I am not sure what this condition is called but this guy is going to cause a new FIFA rule — shoulder and arm pads.  FIFA has previously had to deal with soccer hooliganism and soccer racism. Now they have to contend with soccer cannibalism. FIFA president Sepp Blatter better hope Uruguay does not win the Cup as Suarez may mistake his name for Sweet Bladder.

Bookies actually had to make payout on bets that Suarez would bite someone during the World Cup tournament. Go figure the odds on that one.  At 175-1 that Suarez would bite someone, one gaming site had to make good on one payout of nearly $3,500 US Dollars.

At least Suarez now has plenty of time to watch True Blood re-runs.