Let’s infuse more quality into our relationships

It is said that we hurt most the ones we love. There is truth to this statement, at least as far as I’m concerned. 

I know that at times my husband, my daughter and other members of my family certainly do not get the best of me! 

Patience has never been my strong suit and this is especially true when I am stressed and overtired. It is in these moments that I am short-tempered and not much fun to be around. Part of my journey for balance includes working on my patience!

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it seems like a good time to reflect on those we love, not just the ones we love romanticly, but all those we love and how we can best honour them.

It’s more about the quality

One ‘life lesson’ that I try to remember is that it’s more about quality than the quantity of time spent with those we love. Of course, making time for those we love is important and the quantity in that sense cannot be ignored. Sometimes, though, the quantity of time spent on our relationships will by necessity be less as our balance tips in a different direction. 

This doesn’t mean that the quality of the time spent together should diminish. On the contrary, this is when the quality is even more important. 

Typically though, it is in those moments of stress and being overtired, when I have less time with my family, that one of my loved ones will want my attention and my reaction will be to snap at them, feeling that I am being pulled in yet another direction. 

The irony is that all either of us really wants in that moment is more time together! What I need to do instead of snapping is remember to take a deep breath and give my best to my loved ones rather than my worst! 

There are days when I have to work late and I get home just in time to see my daughter getting tucked into bed. 

Rather than focusing on my guilty feelings of not being there for the drive home, dinner and bath time, I try to enjoy the moment and give her the best quality time I can. 

Often a two-minute cuddle with her can be the most wonderful moment of my day. She looks back at me with her big silly smile and I know she isn’t focused on when I wasn’t there — she is enjoying time with her mummy now!

Treasured Moments

Sometimes the most quality moments in our relationships are the ones that are unplanned. 

A common enjoyment in our household is the love of music. Sometimes a little bit of levity is needed and we have come to have a sort of family dance party to ‘shake’ things out, regroup and just laugh and sing together. Sometimes even the dog gets involved! 

This weekend while doing some work, I took a break and called my husband and daughter into the room and showed them the latest Burnt House Productions video, Happy (Bermuda), which is making its way around the social media circuit. We had a great time watching it, singing along and dancing. This moment we shared is one of those I will treasure.

This Valentine’s Day let’s think of ways we can infuse more quality into our relationships. Life is too serious and stressful sometimes — so have a dance party of your own! 

These moments are some of the most important aspects of relationships — the unplanned, togetherness filled with love, light and laughter.

Jennifer Haworth is an associate with MJM Limited’s Litigation & Dispute Resolution team (www.mjm.bm). She is married and has a daughter. To send your comments or thoughts, write to Jennifer at [email protected].