‘The day my little sunshine went away’

The entire family and I would like to thank everyone who gave their sympathy and support on and off the radio for the loss of our little son and Grandson Nosa'j.

Nosa'j Ayden Michael Stovell was only 21 months old and was full of life and a very happy child.

He was busy adjusting himself to this new life which he found himself in.

Since the day that he was able to walk, he had made good use of his legs; he had lots of fun running up and down and found it easier to poke into everything that he saw.

Not only was he able to run up and down, but boy did he like to dance! He would kick up a storm when he heard a song that he liked.

It had became obvious to us that he was going to be a quick learner; he was beginning to say words and every time that he came to my house, he would say ‘papa’ even if he did not see me.

Every one would tell me how much that he looked just like me, I was very proud of that and would say ‘yes sir, that's my little boy; he's a true Stovell in every way’.

On November the 12th 2013 I will be retiring after spending some 39 years on the job at the hospital, and was looking forward to being with my grandson. But Nosa'j was still a little baby, so it was most important that in his tender years, he remained in the care of his parents.

Nonetheless, I was just waiting until he became old enough for me to take him about with me and share some fun times together.

But on the evening of Wednesday the 25^th of September, all my dreams turned to dust when I got the bad news that my little sunshine had died.

The call coming from my son was so frantic and distorted that it took me a few minutes to understand just what he was saying.

When it became clear to me what he was saying, I got an instant headache as my poor heart just exploded.

I jumped into my car and rushed down to the hospital. On my arrival I saw the police everywhere as they were carrying out some examinations on a vehicle that was parked on the side.

I rushed right into the hospital but did not go into the family room. I went straight up to the dietary department where I worked and went right into the supervisor's office and began to cry.

I then removed a photo of Nosa'j from a collection of photographs of other staff members’ children that decorate the door of the supervisor's office; I then walked around the kitchen crying into it.

I held that photo so tight to my face I almost could not see where I was going as I screamed into the photo, 'please Nosa'j say papa, I want to hear you say papa please’ as I ran around the kitchen crying.

It has always affected me whenever I have heard that a child has died for whatever reason, but it's a real killer when it turns out to be one of your own.

Nosa'j was my first grandchild and to think that he had to leave us so soon has been very painful to us all.

As I sit on my couch alone each night since this horrible event, I find myself seeing Nosa'j running around the room, yet I reach down to get him knowing full well that he's not really there.

This is the second time in my life that I have had to suffer the loss of such a young child in my family. My little sister Heather Robinlou Stovell died tragically back in 1959 at the age of one year and six months and every time I think of her, I still find myself crying for her, even today.

The last time that I had seen Nosa'j alive was on the night of September the 21^st. He was asleep and I just stood there looking down on him as he slept and said to myself 'well well, look at him' — he looked so peaceful as he lay there sleeping. I then left the room and that was the last time that I had seen him alive.

As long as I live I will always wonder in my mind and heart long after he's gone; will he see the sun that shines above him each day; will he see the night sky with the moon and stars so high; will he be able to touch the wind as it flows over him; will he be able to smell the flowers that will grow near by; I think so, for my little man Nosa'j will live on in my mind and heart forever.