The racists among us

Two incidents in the past two months proved to me that we still have a ways to go in dealing with racism.

I was invited to a sailing club. While I was there, an older white person whom I know, who is not a member of the club, leaned into me and said: “Look at all the black people here. You never used to see them here, but now they’re taking over.”

I didn’t say anything. Maybe I should have, but since she was way, way past retirement age, I figured ‘what was the point?’ In a few years she and her views will have passed on.

I do know for a fact that as a child, that same woman was whipped by her father when she played with the neighbours, who were black. She was flogged with a piece of leather that was studded with a bullet and a piece of stone so that it was leave a mark on her and her siblings’ backs and rear ends. Seems neither the emotional scars, nor the inherited bias, ever went away. 

Earlier this week I was driving into work. As I made a lefthand turn, two young black boys were riding their bicycles on the wrong side of the street. I nearly hit one of them who promptly said “Eff you, f***ing white boy.”

I didn’t saying anything. Maybe I should have, but what was the point? Turn my scooter around and chase him down?  I felt like I would have come off as some angry white guy, thus reinforcing what he had just said. During the rest of my ride in to work I wondered if he had been directly impacted by a white person or white people who had shaped his beliefs? Or had his parents passed on the injustices and abuses they had suffered to him? While I didn’t speak up in either case, I have in the past.

I was sitting in a waiting area of a business when a person told me they were upset their sister was dating a black guy, “because, you know.” “No, I don’t know.” “You know, what happens to their babies.” “No, I don’t know what happens to their babies.” “You know, they turn out retarded.” “What?! Did you really just say that to me? Do you seriously believe that?” “Yes, it’s scientifically proven.” “Wow,” I told her. “you really need to step back and check yourself.”

She and I still disagree, but we were close enough to have an honest conversation and hopefully, I helped her to be more open and less racist. If each of us had these small conversations when confronted with racism, we could slowly change opinions before another generation becomes infected.