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Well it's December and that means Christmas is right around the corner. Once again it's time to begin the quest for the ideal gift for that hard-to-buy-for family member.

I've done a lot of research and here is part one of my list of the hottest gifts for 2006.

There is a new video game just released called 'Taximania'. After a long flight with nothing to eat but pretzels and an even longer wait to clear Immigration and get your bags, you finally get to the taxi stand where you hope to start your expensive, but well earned vacation.

But just as you are preparing to bask in the fabled friendliness of the local taxicab drivers you accidentally slam the vehicle door. Suddenly, the cranky septuagenarian unceremoniously chucks you and your bags out of his cab and onto the sidewalk. He may have no recourse against the Government that forced him to install the GPS unit that he refuses to turn on, but he doesn't have to put up with that kind of crap from paying customers.

Bloody tourists should be thankful he's not parked up at his mate's house playing cards! The Police have been called. What do you do? What DO you do? This game is rated 'I' for immature.

The Department of Finance has sponsored a new game based on the old favourite 'Monopoly'. And 'Economic Empowerment Zone' is already getting rave revues.

The high rent properties include 'Court Street' & 'Union Square' but you are encouraged to erect 'Official Premier Residences' wherever you like. Control transportation by owning ALL the taxi services (BIU, Long Wait, Not Reading my GPS and Tourists Only). Pick up millions of dollars, no questions asked, every time you pass 'Parliament' and never go to 'Jail'.

In this version of the game, 'Community Chest' has been replaced by 'Influence Peddling Fundraisers' and Bankers are required to give loans. Game pieces include a gun, a machete, a police car, a CCTV camera and a pit bull.

For the sportsman in the family there is 'BCB 11 Million Dollar Men'. This game requires you to manage a collection of overweight and unprepared 'athletes' who are also the highest paid team in their very minor league and take them around the world in search of someone they can beat.

Challenge Caribbean Beer Leagues, African sides lucky to survive the journey home from the stadium, even the perennial cricket powerhouses like Canada and Holland. Imagine the excitement of not losing a match because you didn't allow the opposing team enough time to try to beat you. For my money this game is grossly over-priced and just does not live up to the hype.

New from 'CanBeHadBro Toys, the 'Tickle Me Ewart' doll is sure to be a winner with International Businessmen. Just place a 'donation' in his pocket and he laughs all the way to Dubai.

And for the budding scientist there's the 'Cedarbridge Biohazard Emergency Kit'.

This experimental lab seems to have been approved by the Department of Education even though we still can't find out exactly who knew what and when they knew it. With your purchase you get a collection of unknown spores which are to be scattered throughout your buildings just before a hot and humid summer.

Then you simply ignore them and before you know it you have a thriving mould farm. Haz-Mat school uniforms are not included, but are highly recommended.

Finally, there's the latest craze in the corridors of power - the 'Bermuda College Whack the Mole' game. This game sends players on a witch-hunt for someone who is talking out of school so there's no time to address the on-going flagrant financial shenanigans. Great fun for wastrels of all ages! n

Next week I'll finish my review of the latest gift ideas, but in the meantime, if anyone out there is wondering what to buy me this year, I'll give you a hint LCDHDTVDVR.[[In-content Ad]]

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