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We are continuing our series on the teachings of Jesus that actually shocked his audience. As the people listened to the words leaving Jesus lips, they were as surprised by what he said as well as the authority with which he spoke. These teachings are found in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 5.

I can think of no more relevant topic today than that of divorce. It has been stated that the divorce rate in the church is just as bad as it is among those that do not believe in God or Jesus. How is it that Christians cannot stay together when love and forgiveness are major ingredients of the Gospel?

The greatest reported fear among children is that their parents might get a divorce. I often counsel teenagers and they tell me that they noticed a drastic decline in their behaviour and desire to succeed when their parents divorced. Divorce is usually a very ugly period, not only for the parents, but for the forgotten children...the children who may be "forced" to decide which parent they will give allegiance to during heated arguments; children who may be "forced" to endure damaging comments and actions by hostile meddling in-laws; children who are "forced" to respect the legal arrangements or may have to contend with unresolved settlements. Divorce is a "violent" act, not necessarily physically, but violent to the heart of both partners as well as any children involved. It is a tremendous time of emotional distress that the family endures.

Jesus said, "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." Matthew 5:31-32.

To understand this passage let's examine the Old Testament law that Jesus is quoting from in Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus points out that Moses permitted divorce because of the hard hearts of his people; this was not God's design from the beginning, however. Jesus now gives the heart of the law, which we tend to miss. Jesus clarifies that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress if she should remarry!

Don't misinterpret the intent here: Jesus is not stifling people's lives, but is actually elevating the sacred gift of marriage, a gift dating back to the beginning of time, by the way, in Genesis chapter 3. If God instituted marriage, then He also has the authority to give instructions about how it is to work.

In Jesus' time just as today, people get divorced for simple, silly and selfish reasons. When this takes places there is so much division that goes on between the couple, their children, families and friends that could be avoided. A spouse may become tired of their mate who they see everyday, in both good and bad circumstances, and then he or she sees a beautiful or handsome person in the office or in a social setting. They may allow their heart to be filled with the compromise of unjustified fantasies. It's the gaze that lasts too long, the conversation that goes too deep, and the unguarded soul that remains unchecked that leads many to ruin their marriage. People think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...but things aren't always as they seem.

In Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus teaches that marital unfaithfulness is the only grounds for divorce and remarriage, because divorce in the Bible that is noticed by God is to allow the innocent party to remarry.

Many interpret that Paul also allowed divorce and remarriage when one party abandoned the other (1 Corinthians 7:15). Paul teaches that if one person in the marriage accepts Jesus Christ as personal Saviour, they should live with their unbelieving husband or wife, trusting God that the other spouse would also come to know the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:12-14). Paul claims that the yoking of a believer with an unbeliever is not grounds for divorce when they both did not know Jesus Christ as personal Saviour when they got married. (However, for a single believer, the Word of God makes it clear that they should choose a mate that is a believer to avoid the strife of one who wants to follow God and the other who does not.)

These reasons are totally different for why people divorce today. These days believers may end their marriage for irreconcilable differences or because they lost interest, or just could not get along. However, Jesus teaches that marriage should not be so cheap. In fact, even when there is adultery, as horrible as it is, I have seen many couples forgive, get counselling and in a miraculous way the marriage is saved.

At their core, in Jesus time just as today, people were just selfish. They did not care about their spouse or even the impact divorce would have on their children. In fact, their feelings and infatuation for the other party became more important than what God said. With so many following the same trend, it became acceptable in the church and was not addressed. However, let's go back to the teachings of Jesus and uphold marriage. Remember, the grass may appear greener on the other side of the fence... but you have to landscape that grass too! In other words, no relationship outside of your marriage will be as perfect as it seems. In fact, sin always takes you further than you want to go; keeps you longer than you want to stay; and will cost more than you can afford.

Pastor Gary C. Simons serves as Senior Pastor of Cornerstone Bible Fellowship, 82 Church Street, Hamilton, Bermuda

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