Too many kids have no guidance

FRIDAY, JAN. 20: I’m yet to meet a parent who, at the birth of their newborn, showers him or her with negative words or expectation of future failures.

Rather, parents smile, take plenty of pictures and oftentimes they’ll even predict what the new bundle of joy will become, based on some mild gesture made by the baby.

We’ve seen and heard it many times: “Look at those beautiful eyes and dimples. He’s going to be a heart breaker!” Or “she’s got delicate feet! She’s going to be a dancer just like her auntie.”

The expectations are cast. But how many times have we heard a new parent say, “This child is going to grow up to be a criminal?” Low expectations are never attached to a baby.

Many parents, grandparents,  Godparents, and extended family set out to shape the pathway upon which the child will walk and as they do, the children are watching and imitating, and learning how to get, how to give, how to manipulate and how to socialize with others.

Then before we know it, they’ve grown up and that baby takes on a personality all of its own and becomes a conversation piece among the adults. The now grown-up baby is viewed as someone disassociated to everyone who helped mould him or her.

The time that everyone used to put in with the cute, defenseless child slowly becomes almost non-existent and soon that newborn is either a positive or negative product of our society. Adults seem to ignore the signs that clearly indicate that a child has lost his balance on the tracks that lead to a productive life.

Wholesome

I asked a well respected male friend about the way young people are raised. He said: “It is most important to provide constant, accurate and thorough teaching to prepare the young child to be a complete and wholesome adult. Remember that our generation is only in charge from the age of 25 to 50. If we don’t teach the generation behind us, when we reach 50, idiots will be in charge.”

He further explained that as youngsters, we are all like sponges, absorbing everything around us. If we are not given information we seek it out and make our own interpretations. He felt that many of our young people have raised themselves and their stubbornness is not necessarily defiance against authority, but the reality of the world in which they see it, having meandered through it on their own. 

Support

If this is true, then what is it going to take for parents to take responsibility? For how long should other agencies and support groups take the place of the parents? Why can’t young people rely on the circle of support they had from birth to help them navigate through their challenges? Where are all those people now? As adults, have we been fair and consistent advocates for our young people? We talk often about the problems they are facing and the outcome of many of their choices but what are we doing to fix that which we have ignored?

Tune in to my next talk show when the topic will be about the relationship between young people and their parents.

Shawnette Somner is the host of Generations, which airs on DeFontes Broadcasting Company’s AM1450 Gold, 7.30-9pm every Monday. E-mail [email protected]. Call in live during the show on 295-1450.