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Skip the meal line

The food during recruit camp is really not bad, but should you need the extra time, you will always find bread, peanut butter, and jelly on the tables. I lived on PB&J during my second week of camp.

Brace the body

You can’t go wrong by stopping and standing at attention when you’re approached by someone who looks like they know what they’re doing. Although you will sometimes find yourself giving unearned respect to another private by mistake, it’s better than inflaming an officer.

Protect your investment

After you’ve achieved that most coveted mirror finish on your parade boots, you’ll want to keep it safe. Slightly moisten a polishing cloth and place it over the tips of your parade boots at night to prevent dust and debris from sticking to it.

Run, don’t march

When you’re getting from point A to B in the regiment, the rule is that you’re either running or marching. Although marching is the less physically demanding of the two, it opens you up to scrutiny and possible punishment from any passing officer or sergeant should you not be giving it your best effort.

Do what you’re told

At the end of the day, behind those gates, you’re essentially nobody – you have no control. Virtually all protesting goes unheeded so all you’ve done is wasted time, which is the hardest commodity to come by in camp. Swallow your pride and get it done — it’s not like you’re the only guy there being bossed around.

Don’t bring any food

You might be tempted to roll some Skittles in your socks or stash a donut in your toiletries bag, but the Regimental Police will find it, confiscate it, and gleefully eat it before you even realize it’s gone. Unless you want to feed the RP’s, don’t bother.

Be discreet

Don’t let your girlfriend/mom/grandma send anything to you through the regiment office while you are in recruit camp. I will never forget during morning inspection, the RSM read out a love note which had been sent to a recruit. It’s not so much the embarrassment of something like that, but the fact that it obviously amused the higher ups. If you’re not happy, why give them any reason to be entertained?

Come back after the break

You are given a break at the one week mark to go home for half a day. Invariably, some people don’t manage to make it back to camp. By the second week, you know the routine so the day-to-day activities aren’t as bad. You’ll also have more time on the range (which is never dull) and the inter-section sports competition, which is the closest thing to fun you will have. Go home, get some sleep, eat something, and head back to camp – the worst is over.

Watch your mouth

I thought I had heard a thing or two in my time, but I have never heard as much foul language in my life as I have compacted in those two weeks of recruit camp. Between the insecurity and the testosterone, the language describing everything from the most mundane to the completely unsavoury was truly astounding. The problem comes when the unguarded tongue continues wagging outside of camp.

There’re always guys after the break who sheepishly admit they’ve been scolded by their parents for their language.

Don’t let recruit camp change you in a bad way if you can help it.

It’s not over until you’re out the gate

The night before you leave, there’s a party for the recruits and their girlfriends/wives. There are more than a few cases of alcohol furnished and many recruits make it a point to drink as much as possible.

The problem with this is two-fold:

There is always a fire drill approximately an hour after the party is over in which everyone has to line up on the square and stand at attention. If you throw up on the square, you will be cleaning it. Good times.

There is a five-mile march the next morning in addition to the clean-up. Marching five miles is fun at the best of times, but hung-over would make it a special treat, I imagine.

I’m not saying not to have fun, just don’t go off-the-wall.

The next night, you can party outside of camp. Me, I went to straight to bed both nights, but then I’m a wild man.[[In-content Ad]]

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