The No.1 priority is parenting, not politics

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 28: One of the biggest problems with General Elections is that we can easily fool ourselves into believing that the world will change after the election is over. It won’t.

While choosing a government is terribly important to Bermuda’s future, the Government will fail if we fail to appreciate that parenting comes before politics.

Regardless of who wins on December 17, for me, the real battle will still be at home, where we’re trying to raise two boys into open-minded, thoughtful, wise, loving, intelligent and respectful, men. Their Nana, Josie Woods, wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Here’s what a typical evening probably sounds like to my neighbours:

• 7:00 Time to wash lunch containers — “Boys! For the third time, I said to do your dishes!”

• 7:30 Time for a shower — “Boys! Why haven’t you put your dirty clothes in the hamper!”

• 7:45 Time for reading (while I’m ironing school clothes) — “No, you cannot play on the iPad!”

• 8:00 Time to review school work — “You know that you’re not allowed to play video games on school nights!”

• 8:30 Time to brush teeth –— “Why on earth would you kick your brother in the privates?”

• 8:45 Time for bed — “Who forgot to flush the toilet again?”

• 9:00 Sleep – “I love you too, kiddo – now gooooo to sleep.”

Two years ago, Armand clearly demonstrated what can go wrong when he’s left to his own devices.  As per norm he was instructed to finish up dinner and take his dishes to the kitchen.

This “child” stood up, spread his arms, his face turned aggressive and then he started to say something which totally flew over my head. It looked like maybe he had gone “thug” on me for a second.

So I paused, then asked him what he said just to make sure that I wasn’t misreading the situation. He did it again, and for a moment all I could do is stare in disbelief.

To clarify, there’s no BET or MTV played at my house. Hott 107 never gets played in my car.  There’s simply nothing “thug” about my home environment or lifestyle, so where on earth did he see someone act like that?

Armand lowered his head, and explained that recently he mistakenly clicked on a music channel instead of a cartoon channel. 

That’s all it took for him, and I totally appreciate how it happened because people of colour are underrepresented in positive roles on North American TV.

All Armand did was emulate what someone who looked like him was doing in a music video.  He’s living in a world where the black guy on TV’s singular purpose seems to be “the hip-hop guy” or “the guy who dies first” (sigh).

Diversity

Outside of cartoons like Avatar and Legend of Khora (two great shows by the way!), the sad reality is that there are hardly any people of colour, or strong females characters, on TV.

When you do find some diversity, far too often it ends up being Handy Manny the Latino fix-it man, or some helpless girl who needs a boy to come and save her. 

Earlier this summer I had a heart scare. Although it turned out to be a false alarm, it really put things into perspective.

It’s times like this when you’re forced to ask yourself: what’s the most important thing to leave behind for your kids? It’s not a house or a large bank account.  It’s actually an open and questioning mind that will challenge the racist, sexist, misogynistic and homophobic, system they are born into.

They’ll need a proper education and a solid set of life skills no matter what they choose to do in life. The higher the blocks stacked against them, the more critical the need for parenting. Failing at fatherhood means leaving them vulnerable to those who will attempt to exploit them (even the ones who look like them). Without question, politics must take a back seat to that.

For many years to come I’ll be encouraging my boys to colour Superman brown.

Marcello and I might need to have a chat when he comes home from school thrusting his pelvis while belting out, “Heeey, Sexy Lady!”

Armand and I might have to chat after he’s learned how to dance Gangnam Style from one of his mates.

Plainly stated, politicians don’t raise children — families and friends do.

The next generation is far more deserving and in need of the attention we give to politics.

We should really try to remember that after December 17.

• Bryant Trew, a former Best of Bermuda award winner for his Bermuda Sun columns, is not a member or affiliate of (or in any way associated with) either of Bermuda’s political parties. Feedback: [email protected]. More at www.bryanttrew.com