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‘Twas the night before Christmas, and here on The Rock

I was just closing up, about twelve o’clock,

The presents were wrapped and put under the tree,

I must have been good, from what I could see.

My wife and the dogs had all gone to bed,

So I examined the gifts that were marked ‘Love to Fred’,

But with nary a clue of the treasures to come,

I sat back in my chair drinking eggnog and rum.

Then out on the road I heard such a din,

Like the screeching of brakes and the crushing of tin,

So up from my chair I arose with a grunt,

I just had to see who would pull such a stunt.

Out on the porch I looked down at the road,

There was nothing in sight, not even a toad,

Then out from the Hibiscus what should appear,

But a strange little man with a six pack of beer.

He was wearing red shorts and a big furry hat,

I knew in an instant, he must be an expat,

He seemed to be dazed, but the closer he got,

I could tell by his breath that he was half-hot.

“There’s White Horse, and Black Horse

Swizzle Inn and Casey’s,

Docksider, Spinning Wheel, The Beach, Splash and Hubies,

From the nightclubs in town to that small place up Crawl,

Dockyard to St. David’s I’ve been to them all!”

At this point he stumbled and fell on his rear,

From the bushes behind him emerged eight reindeer,

Then there was one with a nose glowing red,

And the stranger stood up and said “Evening Fred”.

For a man of his girth he was quick on his feet,

He said as he passed me “I need something to eat”,

When I got to the kitchen he’d started to fry,

In butter some slices of Cassava pie.

I asked him his name and why he was here,

But he said not a word as he drank from his beer,

He sliced up some ham and Portuguese bread,

Then he tackled his feast like he’d never been fed.

Meanwhile the reindeer were all out on the lawn,

And I feared that my grass would soon all be gone,

Then suddenly a sound like the bells on a sleigh,

Filled my kitchen with music both festive and gay.

He put down his bowl of Christmas pudding and sauce,

“Excuse me a moment, this call’s from the boss.”

And putting his cellphone up to his ear,

He gave me a wink and said “Hello Dear”.

He sat and he listened, wiping crumbs from his chin.

Then after a moment he said with a grin,

“The weather was bad dear, we had a delay,

I’ll be there in no time. We just left Thunder Bay.”

He sprang to his feet, and went out the back,

And rooted around in a big velvet sack,

He returned with a gift and said “Thanks for the food,

You’ve been very gracious, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

He jumped in his sleigh, drew his seatbelt up tight

And away they all flew like bats in the night.

But I heard him exclaim, as he went o’er the sound,

“Happy Christmas to all, and Joy all year round!”[[In-content Ad]]

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