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We all know that parents want the best for their children. In Bermuda kids get more opportunities than most kids around the world for exposure to different activities. Kids here are usually no more than ten minutes from their tennis, golf, swimming, karate or dancing lessons after school. Most kids do multiple activities during the course of the school week. I thought now that all kids are back in school and starting their extra curricular activities, it would be a good time to talk about the role of parents.

Parents want their kids to do all the things they never got to do. Even though most parents are well intentioned their behaviour can have unintentional negative effects.

Over the years "Tennis Parents" have received negative publicity from the media. Unfortunately, tennis parents are deserving of this bad rap. The paradox with tennis is that all of the successful professionals have had parents that played a major role in their development. There is a very fine line between support and interference.

In a small community like Bermuda everyone tries to keep up with the Joneses. Kids nowadays know how much money their parents make, and even how much their parents rent out their apartment for.

Kids like this are usually don't have too many financial concerns. These children usually have parents that are successful and have worked hard for what they have earned. Unfortunately for the kids the parents see their success as competitiveness. They are outcome oriented.

In an individual life-long sport such as tennis self-confidence, coordination, fitness, self-discipline and commitment should be the values that are taught. Winning is the outcome and not necessarily the only goal. Performance should be one of the main goals. Wanting your child to be a "winner" is natural, but just because you lose a tennis match doesn't mean that you are a loser.

In Bermuda, junior athletes are often striving for unrealistic goals. While it may be cute that little Mikey is the football player of the week in the paper and "wants to play for Man U" it is probably unlikely.

The problem here is when the realization hits that he can't play for Manchester United many kids throw in the towel. Goals should be challenging. What would be wrong with striving for a soccer scholarship in the states. With dedication and hard work this is a realistic goal.

Tennis is one of the ultimate individual sports. For young kids it can be used as a first step to gaining independence. If at a tournament a kid gets cheated, (which at some point will happen) the child should be allowed to struggle and solve the problem for him or herself. To often parents want to jump in and rectify the situation. At junior tournaments parents shouldn't criticize coaches, athletes, and officials. This behaviour will only embarrass the kid.

At tournaments or watching practices parents should remain upbeat and positive. Rolling eyes, sighing and bad body language are very distracting to a junior tennis player.

If you can't help it or get too emotional it might be better to stay at home. Pete Sampras' parents only watched him play in his last Wimbledon to break the all-time Grand-Slam record. They said watching him play made them too nervous.

A child's development should not be compared with other children. It doesn't matter if it is reading or hitting a topspin forehand. The development should be compared with him or herself only. Just because one kid may be a superstar at eight doesn't mean they will be at sixteen. Some people are late bloomers.

Coaches should do the coaching. Even Venus and Serena's dad didn't really coach them. When selecting a coach it would be wise to check out their credentials. If an accident occurs and they aren't legit it can lead to a messy situation. If they are doing coaching full time as a living they probably know what they are talking about.

In Bermuda some kids will go to two or three different coaches in one week. Find one coach only. Three coaches could be saying three different things.

The child will do what that coach wants on that particular day. This will hinder the junior's development.

While many parents do an excellent job regarding sports participation and encouragement a significant number unknowingly interfere with the child's tennis (sports) development. One of the potential side effect is that later on this can effect the parent-child relationship. Sports should be used to improve a child's total development and teach them valuable life skills that will enhance their happiness.[[In-content Ad]]

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