Kids can teach us valuable lessons about life

As time wound down on my role a counsellor at Windreach I found myself reflecting on my experience.

It has been an awesome learning experience. I have regained my knowledge of Bermudian culture, through various sites we have visited and the many, miniature weekly projects on Bermuda’s historic entities.

Not only did I learn more about my very own culture, I also learned a lot about myself.

As a person who has suffered fourth degree burns, I have never seen myself as ‘handicapped’ — I have always looked at myself or felt as if I was normal, like anyone else. But my parents see otherwise and maybe others in my surroundings have that vision as well.

Whilst at Windreach I have come across many different children with many differing needs. I found myself not judging certain kids by their appearance, as they might judge me by mine, but curious about who they actually are and the stories they have to tell.

It took me nearly two or more weeks to actually come around to ask questions as I didn’t want to offend anyone, but the more I observed, the more I learned about each one’s uniqueness. They are amazing; no words can explain how I see these kids.

People may see my life as hard, with great obstacles, but when I see these kids, who are wheelchair-bound and yet play basketball and create art, it inspires me to want to do so much more with my life.

Each week new campers arrived and at first I sensed they were fearful of me as I walked through the doors every morning.

First impressions always last, they say, but I have come to believe this is rarely true. The first impression may leave an imprint on a person’s mind of what you look like, but as you walk away they still do not know who you are.

These kids were curious about me. They were curious about this scarred individual; their vision was unknown to me, but I could see it in their eyes or the way they shuddered at my appearance. In time they would come to love the man, the figure they had first seen.

My kids have come to love me for who I am and the same feelings shatter the fear I have with my very own son, Kali. I feared that he wouldn’t come to be around me because he doesn’t know me or fears me. The questions surrounding me seem endless, but there is nothing wrong with a little bit of curiosity.

After a minor inter-camp talent show  at Windreach, with the help from The Chewstick Foundation, I’ve come to the conclusion that all kids are intentionally and naturally good or good-hearted.

The talent show consisted of kids ranging from five years old to our oldest kid Jaime who is 16, wheelchair-bound and yet still performed a dance to reggae music.

Positive

Just from observing the positive energy these kids delivered while performing little acts such as storytelling, small skits, dancing and even hula hooping while singing, I’ve seen that kids can come together in a positive movement if they are raised well. The reason this is on my mind is because of what’s happening on our island with our young people, what the powers-that-be are saying about who these people are and what we need to do — making statements as if they are strangers.

Honestly, in my opinion, what we need is to come together in a supportive manner that reflects how Bermuda used to be; the friendly Bermuda; the Bermuda where men, women, girls, and boys knew respect of themselves, their elders and their surroundings by the education of their surroundings; the village, the community.

Somewhere, we as an island stopped being a family. Somewhere we said to ourselves, “to each its own.” In a closely-knit place of only 21 square miles and 60,000 people, whatever happens to one affects us all. If we learn to re-educate our children and provide them a positive example — whether we are their parent, cousin, neighbour, friend or even a stranger — we can stem plenty of problems that are occurring now. We must learn to listen, we must show them discipline again, we must learn to lead.

Too many kids are seeking role models but sadly the community isn’t able to provide them so they imitate the negative role models that are provided by the media such as gangster rappers (male and female).  These are the people our children are looking up to; they are filling their minds with a fantasy life and the message of ‘get rich or die trying’.

If we learn to come together and replace these negative influences with old-school morals by re-educating their minds and hearts, we can have our family again. We must learn to lead again. We must learn to open our eyes, open our ears and listen to our children, for they know more than we actually think…

You can read more stories on my site, www.BehindtheScars.net.