January 30, 2013 at 5:54 p.m.
Satire

Has Brown libelled man's best friend?


By Fred Barritt- | Comments: 0 | Leave a comment

Now that I've finished the cassava pie and have yet to start on the champagne, there's a moment to pause and reflect on recent news items.

Cabinet has announced that the new Hospital will not be built in the Botanical Gardens as decided 'irreversibly' by the previous administration. The new Premier would have you believe that it was his leadership and the greater wisdom of HIS Cabinet that led to this, obviously-the-best-choice-from-the-beginning, decision. However, by my count more than half of the current Cabinet is the same as the one that made the bone-headed call in the first place: Brown, Cox, Horton, Butterfield, Perinchief, Butler and Burch. Dr. Brown may have won the latest game of musical chairs to see who gets top billing, but it's basically the same people making the decisions as it has been since 1998.

And 'Kim il' Brown, the Glorious Leader from whom all good things flow, continues to shower Bermuda with kindness. Due to his beneficence the Dudley Eve Tournament has been allowed to continue, so it must now be named in his honour. Those who have not yet been indoctrinated into the 'Brownies' might see this as crass egotism, but as BFA President Mussenden explains it is the equivalent of a Title Sponsorship - like the XL tennis tournament.

The fact that the public's - and not the Premier's - money was used for the sponsorship appears to be irrelevant. Of course there frequently seems to be some confusion in the PLP Government over the difference between public and private funds - most recently at the Bermuda College.

And in my opinion, The Premier needs to apologize for his invective laced tirade in the House the other week. His 'Racist Dog' comments just went too far. He has impugned the integrity of canines everywhere.

Man's best friend is known the world over to be colour blind and to imply that dogs are anything like politicians is an affront of the highest order. After all, what is dog spelled backwards? If an apology is not forth coming I fear the Premier shall have to tread very carefully across both of his front lawns in order to avoid stepping in deep doo-doo.

And then there was the 'Incident at Elbow Beach'. That chef really made a hash of it. He got himself into hot water and frittered away his career, pudding himself in a jam. He must have been crackers. But he should have been grilled and allowed to stew in his own juices not blanched, canned and tossed away. I'm sure the hotel management was steamed as they scrambled to get the egg off their faces and curry favour with the hard-boiled Immigration Officials.

All in all, it was a slight over-reaction to what was obviously not a serious comment. First of all with his Australian accent he was probably misunderstood. When asked which plate was the Premier's he probably said: 'That one with the aspic on it'. I'm sure a thorough and honest investigation would have determined that there was no real threat to the Premier, but the culprit was on his way to London faster than you can evacuate Dockyard for a pseudo tsunami.

I found the incident strangely reminiscent of when the Bermuda College fired one of their staff for comments allegedly overheard. Retribution is swift in the New Bermuda for certain perceived insults while others are celebrated in Parliament. It seems that truth and reconciliation are not yet on the agenda. At least not for Papa Doc.

The good news is that I hear Rolf Commissiong will be getting a promotion in the New Year from Report Reader to Food Taster. And given the deteriorating sense of humour in certain sectors of the community, I'd better get someone to check my food too. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

With Dr. Feelgood and his Motley Crue at the helm it seems unlikely that we can ALL have a happy New Year, but I sincerely wish everyone a healthy and safe 2007.[[In-content Ad]]

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The Bermuda Sun bids farewell...

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