---

Growing up my Grand-mother Stubbs favourite quote to me was "show me your friends and I will tell you who you are!"

I didn't quite understand it then, but I soon found out early in life what she meant.

Friends are very important and influential beings in the scope of life. Friends could influence your goings and your comings.

I remember as a young woman suffering from tonsillitis, on a very cold night. I was all wrapped up in bed feeling rather under the weather, but one phone call from my friend Rosalie and away I was gone, feeling lousy, but hanging with my friend! Yes, indeed friends are rather important people.

Today in Bermuda, the gang culture has grown so much and so strong, because of the 'friendships' it has created.

Friendships make you feel like you belong - so if family life is lacking, one creates their own family in that of friends.

Hence, you have to be very careful whom you select as your friends. Therefore, parents have to be there for their children, to give the love, support and sense of belonging to them. Should they be successful in creating strength of family, friends would not matter so much.

In an authentic hadith, Prophet Muhammad said: "Man is influenced by the faith of his friends, therefore, be careful of whom you associate with."

Also to support this in another time and another world Henry Ford, said, "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."

How many times have we heard, especially if we grew up in Bermuda, our parents and grandparents, conveying the old adage "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are". I can tell you with a surety, no less than one thousand times!

To find good friendship is definitely a gift from God. Friends can enhance our lives so much. Therefore, they must be picked carefully. In fact, if so called 'friends' do not meet the following criteria; they can hardly be called 'friends'.

Friends should be co-operative and supportive of each other. Friendship involves mutual affection together with assistance and support of each other in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other.

In other words, friends always have your back! Friends share similar tastes and enjoy similar activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behaviour, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone whom you value and who in return values you always and unconditionally. But to have a good friend, you must be a good friend - a well-known Muslim Hassan (as) says: "Befriend people in the same manner you would like them to befriend you."

Confucius said, "Have no friends not equal to yourself." Indeed, friends should be a mirror of yourself, i.e. "Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company," said President George Washington.

Further, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) stated, "The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness)." Like a mirror, your friend gives you an honest image. He forgives your mistakes, but does not hide or exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) who possessed the most noble character and dealings with fellow humans gave us a very clear and simple message and advice in regard to friendship. "What person can be the best friend?

"He who helps you remember Allah (SWT), and reminds you when you forget Him," Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) was further asked, "Who is the best among people?" Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) replied, "He who, when you look at him, you remember Allah (SWT)". Such a friend reflects qualities of love, mercy, honesty, service, patience, optimism, professionalism, and the entire lifestyle taught by Islam.

How should we choose a friend? Very carefully indeed! Imam Ali (as) Says: "Be not friend with a fool, for he will harm you while meaning to do good to you." I'm sure many of us can bear witness that having bad friends at one time or another got us into a heap of trouble!

How many of us have been so blessed with good friends they have become like family. A wise Muslim scholar, Imam Ali (as) says: "Friendship transfers a stranger in to a relative." Imam Ali also said: "The poor is one who does not have any friends."

So people, let us choose our friends wisely, the decision can make you or break you.[[In-content Ad]]

---