Beware the empty promises of indecisive politicians

FRIDAY, NOV. 25: When I don’t know what to do, or I haven’t done what I promised, I often lapse into long, vague sentences.

My words suggest action but, when you look carefully, you find I haven’t actually claimed to have accomplished much of anything, or promised anything specific for the future.

So it turns out the Government and I have lots in common.

There are plenty of impolite slang words for this kind of thing. But the technical term I believe is “obfuscation”.

But not in the sense that words are used to cover up something, but to cover the absence of something — the failure to do what should have been done in the past, or to have concrete plans going forward.

This skill has been proudly on display in Government’s Throne Speech, and in the countless follow-up speeches given by Cabinet Ministers to put a thin layer of flesh on some rather spindly bones.

To be fair, there are a number of specific commitments — the Job Corps programme, for example, “will come into full effect in the second quarter of 2012” and drunk driving penalties will be increased (though no date is given).

We must remember to check up, in a few months time, to find out if these promises are fulfilled.

But the specific commitments are outweighed by calls to action that are so vague as to be almost meaningless. These include the promise to do things that are done already, that state the painfully obvious as though it is an important new initiative, or are (when you stop to think about it) several steps removed from reality.

There are numerous calls for the explorations of plans to look into things.

Take this: “The Department of Tourism, in the short-term, will adopt a set of strategic initiatives to address the industry’s immediate needs while Bermuda’s long-term National Tourism Plan is being developed.”

Or ponder the three levels of uncertainty in this: “A further option is consideration of a referendum on whether Bermuda should allow gambling.”

Gambling isn’t definite — it’s subject to a referendum.

The referendum isn’t definite — it’s a “consideration”.

The consideration isn’t definite — it’s an “option”.

Here’s another good one that sounds like action… but is it?

“The Government aims to implement the findings of the Price Control Commission, including updating the relevant legislation, if this is considered necessary, to alleviate some of the hardships being endured by Bermuda’s consumers.”

Updating the consumer laws is vague to start with.

But this will only be done if this is considered necessary.

Even then, it’s only something the Government “aims” to do.

There are plenty of glorious, uplifting statements that fill you with confidence… until you stop to think how meaningless they are.

While acknowledging cuts in grant-giving, for example, the Throne Speech promises that the Government “will be formalising social pacts with the private sector and the various charitable and sports organisations to examine how to make better use of the limited resources. This is the social contract in action.”

Stakeholders and gatekeepers

The effort to please is irresistible. The Throne Speech declares that students are the “most important stakeholder” in our education system.

Then we learn that “principals are the gatekeepers”.

What about teachers? They are not only the “frontline” but the “soul of our education system.”

And who will be at the centre of our strategy towards the elderly?

“Seniors will be the focus of a Bermuda national strategy on aging,” the Throne Speech assures us, without actually telling us what this strategy is likely to be.

Measures to protect Bermudians, though ill-defined, will be “robust.”

What is it with the word “robust”, anyway?

In Wednesday’s Royal Gazette, alone, Detective Chief Inspector Sean Field-Lament described a drugs-and-gun raid as a “robust proactive operation.”

In the Business section, Axis Specialty Insurance was praised for its “robust” risk management controls, while a Bermuda accounting firm director called our country’s regulatory framework “robust”.

The day before, the Bermuda Hospitals Board assured us that enforcement of its policies is “robust”.

Last week, Tourism Minister Wayne Furbert said he was looking for an ad agency that could offer a “robust, timeless campaign.” As if that wasn’t enough, The New York Times’ online travel guide last week published a Frommer’s review that praised the “robust” dishes at Griffin’s Restaurant at the St. George’s Club.

But enough robustness. We’re looking for action. The Throne Speech says Government will “take decisive action”. It is not worried about action, “only about inaction.” It has a “strong bias for action.”

It is “committed to bold steps”.

Now, all we need to find out is what in fact those bold steps will really be.