A parent's anger issues can be passed on to children

FRIDAY, JAN. 13: A couple of weeks ago I went to a restaurant, placed my order, and then prepared to wait.

As I waited I noted a mother, father, and their son. The son was no more than two years old; a cute little fella.

His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, he had a chain around his neck, his ear was pierced, and he was dressed to the nines in a jeans outfit. 

I must confess I thought to myself that it was a precious moment and a lovely scene. I mean, a father actually with the mother and son. I had a scene to support the hope I live by.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Then it happened. The toddler wanted something and the parents were not about to give it to him.

Screaming

He got down from the chair, stood there and began to stamp his little, tiny feet on the ground.

Cute went right out of the window. Then things quickly got worse. The little fella threw himself to the ground in front of his parents and in front of us — about four patrons.

The parents talked calmly to get him to stop screaming, but that only caused the toddler to scream louder.

I could tell that the talking was for public show only. That little fella was used to screaming and having his way.

However, this time it was being publically witnessed. Not good.

The parents quickly went into another mode. The father grabbed him tightly by the arms and stood him up, while the mother verbally threatened the little boy.

Proverbs 20:11
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Then they were gone. The parents were not happy. I had also left the store and therefore saw that they were none too pleased that a two-year-old had ‘outed’ them.

That scene floods back to my mind, as I write this column and watch my second episode of the A&E programme, Intervention.

How many young families need intervention?

How many of our young parents have anger issues that are passed on to their babies, toddlers, or young children?

Children model what they see. A child who acts out publically has seen certain behaviour privately.

The multiplying issue of concern is that if left unchecked, this little fella will attend pre-school and primary school and exhibit out of control behaviour, which will result in a teaching and learning moment being lost in a class. 

Also, sadly, this might result in the learning process of this boy being blocked.

Does that mean the little boy I saw the other week is a lost cause or an automatic loss to society. No way.

How can that be? He is only two years old. There is greatness and wonderful potential in that little boy.

I know that he is intelligent and has the ability to become great. I know that.

I remember trying to ‘catch’ his eye at one point. You know how many of us do that. You need not say a word; you can simply ‘look’ a child into submission.

He would look my way. Yes, I toyed with the idea of going over there and gently speaking with the little boy.

However, I heard a certain word come out of the mouth of one of the parents and did not desire to be cussed off and told to mind my own business.

Proverbs 29:21
He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child shall have him become his son at the length.

I don’t know that little boy, but I will pray for him. I will pray for his young mother and father.

As I conclude this column, the second episode of Intervention has concluded.

In the first programme, the result was failure. In this second one, the result was success.

Today, I hope and pray that little boys and girls will experience good results. It begins at home.

I encourage those parents who need help to reach out for help. There is much help available in Bermuda.

If you know of any young parents who need help, please help them to get help. The future of the little children of Bermuda depends on parents getting help.

Dr Maria A Seaman is the pastor of Shekinah Worship Centre, Hamilton. The Centre wants to help guide you to becoming a successful parent. Contact:  [email protected].