No more vitriol! We must stop ‘flogging’ each other on talk shows, blogs

We need to stop the public flogging in Bermuda.

I don’t know when actual flogging was outlawed but its modern incarnation takes place daily on the talk shows, on the blogs, in social media, in the office, at social events and in the media.

The public flogging usually escalates after some social or political event or announcement. It is usually directed towards ‘Bermudians’ and the vast majority is directed towards a certain segment of Bermudians.

As the saying goes; “the tongue is sharper than the sword”.  We are proving, here in Bermuda, that the tongue is sharper than the sword and the whip. All persons who live in Bermuda need to question themselves and ask, “Why am I always so willing to participate in this public flogging?”

The public flogging usually takes the form of :

“Bermudians are lazy.” (or lazier than any other culture that one has experienced?)

Really? My British friends tell me that the British are the laziest people they know and little happens in the workplace after teatime. So, why do Bermudians, themselves, feed into this? Do you not realize that you demean yourself and your own when you say this? Do you not believe that you discourage young Bermudians when you perpetuate this myth? If you have had one or two bad experiences, please don’t label everyone as so and then set up roadblocks to all Bermudians and their futures.

“Bermudians have no work ethic.” “It’s just not worth training a Bermudian. They have too many bad habits.” “They talk on the phone too much.” “They want to go to too many funerals.” “Their children are always sick.” “ They are always late.”

 Are these thoughts for your own financial benefit? Would really prefer not to invest in your own people? Yes, some people have no idea of proper work practice. Proper work practice is a part of training. But ask yourself, “Would you rather hire cheaply and invest your time to train someone from another country who will then take that training with them when they leave than to invest in your own people to the benefit of your own country?”

How are your Bermudians ever going to progress if you refuse to provide opportunities? Lately, I’ve seen a lot of foreign ‘fast food’ personnel talking on the cellphone during work hours. (They must be becoming ‘Bermudianized.) 

Or you just like to flog Bermudians?

“I’d rather hire someone from another country than hire a Bermudian.”

You have a lot of complaints about our young women and men, but how much effort have you, personally, put into ‘mentoring’ a Bermudian or is everything about your bottom dollar? Can you see that when a young Bermudian hears negative things he might feel discouraged? There are young Bermudians who have not had the best circumstances while growing up. They could use someone with patience and understanding and knowledge to mentor them. You DO have the power to change someone’s life for the better. Why don’t you do that rather than continuing to flog them? It used to be a positive part of the Bermudian culture for young persons to be trained or mentored under skilled craftsmen. They then went on to become skilled craftsmen themselves. Maybe there’s someone who did that for you. Consider that if you continue to spread distrust of and distaste at your own people then you need to explore YOUR part in the destruction of our community. Or are you just enjoying the flogging?

“Bermudians have a sense of entitlement to jobs on their island.” “ Bermudians think that they are just owed a job without benefit of proper education or skill training.”

But then you turn around and laugh at any effort made to provide these skills. eg drywalling, waiter/waitress programme, nail technician programme, job corps. You publish on the blogs and in letters to the editor how ‘foolish’ you think these ventures are. You wait with salivated breath to hear of the failure of the persons or the programmes so that you can say, “I told you so. I told you that the results wouldn’t be good!

“The public school system in Bermuda is BAD!”

What pleasure do you get from spreading negativity about our public schools? Have you ever visited The Berkeley Institute or Cedarbridge Academy? I bet you haven’t, because if you had, you wouldn’t say half of the negative things that you say.

Have you visited any public school to see what goes on? There are many positives in our public schools. The classrooms are beautiful, the playgrounds are safely fitted and fun to use, the students are beautiful, the teachers are nurturing and work hard and the students are smart, work hard and have all the potential in the world to succeed. The high schools have many programmes sponsored by companies and organizations that truly believe in student success.

As in any district in the world, there are challenges and there are students with challenges. We have not solved all the problems and efforts are always being made to make improvements but do you have to publicly flog the system and its clients so consistently? Our children are innocents and don’t deserve it. They hear what you say, and feel how you feel about them.

Your negativity will breed more negativity. So, please stop with what you truly don’t know. Stop publishing the name of public schools in big, bold negative statements. Let the blog comments regarding positive happening in the school outnumber the venomous ones that you love to spew. Try a new experience. Volunteer to tutor. Go to some school events. You’ll find new inspiration through your positive efforts in the public schools. And you’ll fall in love with the students – I guarantee you will.

“Teenagers in Bermuda have a sense of entitlement and therefore need to compete with foreign teenagers for the meager number of summer jobs that are available?” 

WOW! You have them labelled already as having a sense of entitlement. Many have not even completed high school and they see opportunities being taken from them instead of being provided for them. There are some who would not understand this perspective. There are many Bermudian teens who NEED those summer jobs – for the experience, the money and the activity.

For example, on the blogs, you bring up lifeguard jobs and then make jokes that Bermudians (we know who you’re talking about) can’t swim well enough or can’t pass the test. Why don’t you, instead of criticizing, see where you can assist Bermudian teens for lifeguard jobs, well enough in advance of the summer, that most who try have the chance of succeeding? There are some people who do.

Rather than spend time negatively on the blogs or talk shows, they actually get out and provide positive experiences for our youth, like the cycling club at Berkeley, for example.

“The problem in Bermuda is that there is ‘generational family dysfunction.’ There are parents who had parents who didn’t know how to parent ….”

Why do you speak like God of ‘generational family dysfunction’ in Bermuda as if you know all about how the generations have parented in Bermuda? Why do you speak like God when you know that the reference is just being made to a certain segment of the community?

Have you already admitted to your ‘generational family dysfunction’ which you mask with money, boarding schools, therapists and expensive legal drugs? Why do you generalize? And whose family is ‘right’ or ‘functional’? Is it just yours? Is it only our children who smoke ‘weed’? Is it only our children who display anti-social behaviour? If the narcissism wasn’t so evident, the flogging might not hurt so much.

So — watch your words- and your attitude.

We do have a problem in Bermuda, a deep-seated problem that enables us to tuck our own children in at night and wish them well while flogging other people’s children. We have a problem with feeding into every bit of negativity about ‘Bermudians’ while being Bermudian ourselves. We have a problem with allowing others who are here for financial benefit to flog us, disillusion us, demean us without benefit of knowing and respecting  our history or the richness of our community. We feed on ourselves.

We must wonder why we do it. We must wonder what the purpose of this public flogging is. Does it make the floggers feel better about themselves? Is it self-hatred? Is it jealousy? Is it to destroy a certain segment of our society? Is it for racial superiority? Is it for political superiority? Is it for money? Whatever – The flogging must stop. It is serving no useful purpose to our community. It will destroy another generation.

We could be so much better as Bermudians and for Bermudians if we reflected on the reasons for our negative thoughts and words, then made a purposeful decision to change, to become more positive and encouraging, realizing that those negative words, written and spoken are like the whips of the past; they hurt, they cause anger and anxiety and they will leave scars.

• Cheryl-Ann Griffin is a retired educator who lives in Hamilton Parish. She is a mother and grandmother who is becoming increasingly concerned about the perpetuation of negativity on the island directed towards young persons and ‘Bermudians’ in general.