Reach out to show you care — before it’s too late

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It’s too late when we die

To admit we don’t see eye to eye

— Mike and the Mechanics

Today I devote this column to my grandmother. 

A few hours before I wrote this, she held my hand as she passed from this life unto the realm of ancestors.

I thank God for allowing me to have her in my life for my entire 45 years. I could list all that she has done for me but there’s not space in the newspaper.

As the only male grandchild, I won’t deny that I was a “granny’s boy”. She spared not the rod, but compensated with love, devotion, direction and a pan of home-made gingerbread men every Christmas.

My grandmother was conceived before World War One, when nation rose against nation. She passed at a time that warfare is now waged with bombs in pressure cookers.

Challenges

Needless to say, the world has changed much over her 100 years on earth. Yet one thing remained constant for her: she focussed on uplifting her family, regardless of what challenges she faced.

As a single mother of four daughters, she worked as an executive chef to provide a home and education for her loved ones. Amid her spoons ‘n’ pots emerged eight university-educated children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

I share this story with you for a few reasons. I have learned a few valuable life lessons from the life of my grandmother.

Firstly ,never let challenges sway us from our long-term goals. 

No matter what materialistic trinkets pop up, put education and/or skill development as a major investment.

Secondly, self discipline and spiritual focus will always see us on the right path to success. Children need guidance. Spare not the opportunity to mould them or the need to correct them. They will be immensely thankful for it, albeit after-the-fact.

My grandmother was born and grew in the British Virgin Islands. She emigrated to New York City in 1945. At that time, West Indians were looked upon as third class persons. She instilled strong Caribbean self pride in us and yet encouraged us to learn about other cultures. So whether you are Portuguese, Indian or an East Londoner, be proud of who you are whilst embracing others.

Most importantly, always put family first. 

I was blessed to be able to jump on a plane and spend my grandmother’s last five nights on earth holding her hand, stroking her hair and telling her how grateful I was for all her sacrifices.

Too often, death comes unexpectedly and we do not get to tell our loved ones how much we love them. Please do not wait until someone’s death to tell them you appreciate their life.

Reach out to your parents, grandparents children, cousins — anyone who has helped to make you the person you are today. Do it in the living years. n

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