9/27/2006 12:42:00 PM Do our educated females face a mating crisis? The cross-gender educational gap could mean island females will be starved of Bermudian mates
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Contact Larry at lburchall@gmail.com
Larry Burchall
I don't know why, but I was thinking about China. Over there, half a world and over six thousand years of known national history away, more than a billion Chinese nationals go about the business of their daily lives.
Chinese people are born, grow up, marry, have children, and their children then start the whole cycle again. That cycle was rolling thousands of years before Bermuda was even discovered.
Lately though, something important happened to that Chinese cycle of life. The Chinese government-of-that-day, as governments often do, decided that there ought to be fewer Chinese.
More correctly, that China's current birthrate or population growth had to slow down. The government-of-that-day, as governments often do, quickly whipped out a decree. The government-of-that-day, as governments often do, made its decree stick.
The decree? In future, Chinese women were to limit themselves to one child. No more two and three and four children families. All married - and unmarried - couples were now allowed to have one child - and one child only.
Of course, a couple could choose to have zero children, and that too, met with the approval of the government-of-that-day.
So it began. Adhering to the decree, couples in China limited themselves to one child per couple. At the same time, thousands of years of culture and history and a wee bit of modern technology combined and kicked in.
Traditional Chinese culture places a higher value on a boy than a girl and with rudimentary modern technology, couples, at any early stage, could determine the sex of their unborn child.
The first unintended consequence? Culture and tradition resulted in many early abortions as many women aborted female foetuses and later tried again. Meanwhile women carrying male foetuses went to full term. The second consequence? The ratio of boys to girls began to change noticeably, then materially, then significantly. Third? The new government-of-the-new-day, as governments often do, saw a new problem. Too late!
The new problem that was actually already on them and growing to adulthood amongst them was that China would one day have a huge and significant imbalance in its adult population.
China would have many millions of healthy young males greatly outnumbering a much smaller number of healthy young females. The new government-of-the-new-day, as governments often do, expressed alarm and concern at the problem that is coming at them - and is about to cross their action thresholds now.
That's where I leave China and come halfway around the world, back to my Bermuda, to the same genre of problem.
For over twenty years, the number of under-educated Bermudian males has greatly exceeded the number of better-educated Bermudian females.
Looking at this year's total public school output - as a typical example - for every three girls who graduated, there was only one boy. Put both private and public sectors together and the ratio shifts but does not come to parity. There's still two graduating girls for every one graduating boy.
So down the road, and not too far down the road because we're talking of persons who were 18-years-old when they graduated - or did not graduate, it's clear that there's likely to be a significant mis-match between the number of better educated Bermudian women who are seeking national marriage-mates and lesser-educated Bermudian men who are the logical partners for these Bermudian women.
Succinctly, Bermudian women may, today, be finding it hard to find male Bermudian mates who are somewhere near their socio-economic equal.
I have to say maybe. I say maybe because I am a man who has been happily married for a very long time, and am not out there looking for a mate. Nor am I in the market to be sought as a mate.
But the numbers that I see, coupled with the usual western tradition of women marrying men who tend to be from the same socio-economic class or from a class higher, suggest that in this time, today, Bermudian women may be finding it hard to find a mate.
Is that true? Before anyone suggests that a woman shouldn't select a man based on his education, training, or job - that's not what I am suggesting.
However, I am acknowledging the fact that longstanding tradition in western society - and Bermuda is an advanced western society - is that women have tended to marry 'up' or marry 'equal'.
I'm asking, has that changed? I'm asking, what happens to the hordes of lesser-educated Bermudian men? Do they marry?
Reader Comments
Posted: Friday, September 29, 2006
Comment by:
Wiseasanelf
I think its simple. Women carry eggs. The eggs are the future. In uncertain times women expect bigger, stronger, smarter males to protect them and the eggs. You would think "he who throws a spear farther" equates to "he who has the flashier car or bike". But, it doesn't. Our Bemudian society puts a premium on the abiliity to dream a plan for a home. Our bermudian females have opted out of the flash when they get serious about those eggs. (You tell me why so many females in their 30's opt to have a child without the "he" to the equation?) So, other things being equal, the female has a better dream vision of a future. Male physical strength and speed is a low second to mental prowess and vision to buy a home in the present mix of things. Just let a new war start that effects Bermudians and see the sea change.
Posted: Friday, September 29, 2006
Comment by:
Terlena Murphy
In my opinion, lesser educated men will marry. Especially in Bermuda, because in our culture it is more prevalent to see the educational differences. People tend to marry based on character, not whether we are both college degree having individuals. To me personally, it does not matter that a man may not be as 'educated' as myself. But, I would like for him to be a good man who will treat me well. That is where the shortage lies. The dating scene has changed dramatically in the last 8 to 10 years. Because there is such a shortage in men, women are more likely to tolerate 'sharing'. And men have changed their mindset about how they treat the dating game. They no longer feel the need to persue, because there are women out there who will aggressively persue them. I would ask you to ask your readers, when was the last time a man asked a woman to dance? They don't have to. That is just one example. The culture has drastically changed for the those who wish to persue a relationship. (If referencing my comments please use - T. Murphy) Thank you
Posted: Friday, September 29, 2006
Comment by:
Newyorker
Good article, Larry. I saw this for myself while doing my degree at night at the old U.S. base. Local residents could take advantage of having a U.S. University at hand. The Bermudian contingent was almost all female, while the non-Bermudian, but non-American contingent was invariably 50-50.
