The whole legal system is stacked against fathers who don't have custody of their children.
That view was espoused by American child rights activist Stephen Baskerville during a recent visit to Bermuda.
Martha Dismont, executive director of The Family Centre, agrees there is a tendency for courts to favour mothers, and has come across cases involving fathers' lack of access to their children, although not in large numbers.
Dr. Baskerville, who was brought to Bermuda by the fathers rights group Childwatch, said it was a worldwide problem. His words resonated with three fathers we spoke to:
n Bill (not his real name) had been married for almost 20 years when he returned to the island after a short period abroad for surgery, to find that his wife had moved out with his two teenagers.
He said: "The matters between myself and my wife are separate.
"But the children, with whom I had a strong relationship, are willingly under her control because she allows them to go out on school nights and buys them gifts that I would deem unsuitable."
Staying out late
He said his 16-year-old daughter was being allowed to stay out past midnight and his son, who is younger, is allowed too much Cablevision time.
Bill, who is a teacher, and admired by his peers, is not given access to his children's school reports or told about dates for their extra-curricular activities.
He has racked up more than $20,000 in legal fees trying to see his children on a regular basis.
Earlier this year, the court increased his child-support payments for both children from $1,000 to $1,700 a month.
He said almost $300 of that amount is to go towards their vacations.
"It's ridiculous," he said. "At this rate, all the money I have saved for my children's college education will disappear because the money is being spent inappropriately."
In addition to child support payments, he contributes to their school fees and other expenses. "I want to monitor how much the children get for weekly pocket money but she (the mother) won't allow it," he said.
n Leo started fighting for visitation rights to see his only daughter when she was three-years-old and his marriage fell apart.
Now that she is 17, and he has had to take out loans to pay for legal fees, he says he has "given up."
"Court orders? That's a joke. The mother has been allowed to flout them for years.
"There were so many times I went, in keeping with court-ordered visitation rights, to pick up my daughter and was told alternate arrangements had been made.
In tears
"After they changed her school without telling me, one day I finally found her at school while she was on the field and she froze.
"The two of us just stared at each other and broke down crying. She ran to me.
"With all the efforts to keep her away from me, and with legal fees running at $350 per hour, I have just given up, but continue to make my payments."
n A third father, whom we'll call John, spoke of trying to seek custody of his infant son, after a short-lived marriage to an American.
He complained that his wife was eligible for legal aid, won custody and was allowed to leave Bermuda with their son. He now has to pay child support and if he wishes to see his son has to travel to the U.S., which means spending out more money.
He is seeking full custody and in the meantime will have to make do with being with his son on home soil during the summer and at Christmas.
Issues these fathers are facing are contained in a report "Mama's Property Daddy's Child" which is due to be discussed in Parliament today.
The report suggests ways for fathers to pay companies directly for insurance and other expenses incurred by their children.
The report recommends shared parenting.
One lawyer said of the report: "Some of the proposals were workable and they would be very positive. However, I had concerns and reservations about some of the other proposals."
