Unfortunately, Sundayâs events at Wellington Oval, leaving one man in critical condition in hospital, after some 20 young men (and I will not say youths) brazenly wielded machetes, knives, sticks, and concrete blocks during the ăFriendship Trophyä final, werenât the first incidences of mindless aggression in Bermuda. And, unless the community owns up to these behaviours, I suggest that it wonât be the last.Just a few days ago, Bermuda Sun columnist Stuart Hayward commented, ăThere is no question in my mind that violence is increasing in virtually every aspect of our society.ä
Like Mr. Hayward, I was pleased to see that the Bermuda Government was advertising for someone to provide anger management and mediation services. But, as he stated, Bermuda ÷ and not just the government ÷ needs ăto go a few steps further and have these skills made part of our standard education as ways of preventing violence.ä
I add ăconsequences.ä Arrest, for domestic or community violence and mandatory attendance of groups ÷ perhaps following the lead of Minnesota, among the first states in the U.S. to recognize that violence ÷ whether it be in the home or in the community ÷ requires immediate attention. If we act up there, my friends, we have the promise of arrest, a year in groups, separation from partners, and mommy and daddy canât come to our rescue! Weâll be in the Îclink.â
Accountability is first. I attended a sentencing recently in which a judge allowed an individual, who wielded a knife and hid in the back of a taxi before being involved in an altercation, to get off with ătime served,ä following his stabbing of another person. Moreover, I heard the judge chastising the individuals who had seemingly gotten quite annoyed by the stabbing and gave him some knocks in return. Education tells us that there is only one time when our own violence is justified ÷ when weâre being attacked without provocation.
Meanwhile, as Mr. Hayward has said, anger management and mediation groups are great ideas. However, these are only the beginnings.
Believe me, my experiences at USNAS-Bermuda, prior to its 1995 closure, taught me the importance of one rule: ăWe are 100 per cent responsible for our own behaviours.ä
Anger and violence occur in a cycle, starting with Îtensionâ ÷ I think weâve noticed that for many years in Bermuda ÷ Îangerâand finally Îremorse.â If youâll relate this to your arguments with your spouses, or the reactions of your children when disciplined, I think youâll see this pattern clearly. You can feel it coming, then it happens, then everybodyâs sorry.
Well, for the folks who were involved in Sundayâs melee, all is not forgiven.
Meanwhile, my associate Sheelagh Cooper, an inspiration in her leadership for the rights of children and those who are in dependent situations in Bermuda ÷ who has already got anger management in place in her agency ÷ and who has promoted mediation for years, warns:
ăItâs frightening when even middle school children pick up on these behaviours. We have problems with gangs in Bermuda, and we need to recognize that. And mediation (prevention) is an important means of ending gang violence.ä
Ms Cooper, who knows children, and whose decades of experience have impacted Bermuda significantly, commented, ăMany of these kids donât even know why theyâre fighting. They simply, in their own minds, are Îholding up their end.âä
Although Ms. Cooper agrees with the concept of accountability, to say the very least, she makes an important point. ăWe need to start mediating ÷ bring these groups to the table, so that they will understand their issues.ä
If we donât, I agree with Ms. Cooper, we ourselves are accountable. However, those who behaved in the way that they did deserve immediate consequences. Only then will violence stop.
*Carol Shuman, Ph.D. is a Bermuda-based psychologist and author and associate of the Albert Ellis Institute, NYC. She can be reached at drcshuman@datkin.net
