The good news is that there are special gatherings where I can learn more. The bad news is if I do nothing, itâs assumed Iâm all for it!

And it hasnât been too long ago that I had dinner with a fellow whoâs pretty high on the hog in Bermuda politics these days. We wonât call names, but this politician was talking to me about how things sometimes seem to slip by the people in Bermuda, even when the hazy days arenât hot.

My editor recently asked me explain, from a psychologistâs point of view, why some of us fail to express our opinions even when something really matters. If a group had a problem they would know they had a problem and do something about it, wouldnât they? Or would they?

Often they wouldnât, social psychology research has shown for many years. There are many reasons.

One is because of our propensity to ăjustify the system.ä We tend to preserve existing social arrangements, even at the expense of personal and group interest.

In order to justify the system÷whether it be to hold on to the belief that a bank buyout is good or bad or to argue for or against nude beaches (please!) ÷ we tend to hold on to false beliefs that are contrary to our own interest. And this, in itself, contributes to our own disadvantaged position. How?

Picture yourself in a business meeting now. You just said something, and you found yourself ignored. You bristle, you stew, and you do nothing. Why?

Perhaps you failed to perceive being ignored as injustice or a hint that youâre disadvantaged.

Perhaps youâre fatalistic. Well, itâll end up that way, anyway, you think, so why say anything, anyway? Well, guess what. I failed to cast an absentee ballot in the last Presidential election, Iâll admit it. And guess where ÷ Florida. You know the rest of the story.

Justification of social roles is another reason. If the big guys say itâs good, it must be. So you stuff it!

Perhaps we blame ourselves for our misfortune. Perhaps it was reasonable that these folks would ignore your meeting comment? Maybe so, but try again and see. If they ignore you again, you can rest assured, itâs not your fault. They may not want to hear it, but that isnât your fault, either.

Or, we may do whatâs called ăidentifying with the oppressor.ä That means we have formed psychological dependence as a result of our social roles of domination and subordination. (We know this from our ăstereotypingä education re: racism, sexism, ageism, and so on.)

To explain, your boss, who is dominant, may foster dependence among subordinates (who are far more likely to fight among themselves than with the boss), creating a sense that the system must be protected. Therefore, you falsely attribute the fact that you were overlooked to a need to keep things in proper order.

Or we might simply be resistant to change. Psychological research has long noted the tendency of folks to make minor adjustments, rather than to make wholesale change. (Perhaps the thing you said in the meeting suggested something big. Oh, you say to yourself, thatâs why they didnât answer.). Really, though, you know, thatâs not good enough.

Simply put, why wouldnât we speak up?

Protest might be embarrassing or exhausting. And if youâve held the irrational belief during your meeting that having a different opinion would bring shame, chances are youâll let the groupâs failure to notice your comment go by.

Or, you may just be ăused to it.ä You were the seventh child out of nine, perhaps, and youâre used to being ignored. Or perhaps youâre a female or a minority in a classroom. Again, research shows, your school teachers might have made eye contact with other folks in your school for many years. However, you might be really surprised at how much success youâll have by getting more assertive.

And one more example weâll cite is something psychologists call ăcognitive dissonance.ä Say youâve made the remark, and you really regret that you did. Subsequently you feel really stupid÷which generates major discomfort.

So, we tell ourselves, ăThat really didnât happen that way.ä (I wasnât really ignored. I just didnât talk loud enough.) Or, you might get new information ÷ look around the room for supporting glances of others, for example. Or, you can simply minimize the conflict in your mind, so that you can safely ignore it and feel more comfortable ÷ after all, itâs okay to smoke because Iâm heading to the Pearly Gates eventually anyway!

Finally, letâs be sure weâre back at our business meeting and youâve just been ignored. Itâs important to remember that being ignored is not okay· brainwashing depends upon all of those psychological processes we mentioned above that would prevent you from speaking up.

Brainwashing, in fact, requires active participation: cult members accost strangers, publicly justify their causes, members are made to feel their actions derive from free choice rather than coercion, and arousal is kept high by various means, such as excitement of a meeting, by the nervousness that goes with approaching strangers, strong feelings of guilt, and so on. Cults are well aware that suffering and sacrifice build commitment, where people of ten give up some or all of their possessions, often including giving large sums of money.

Now, I am by no means suggesting that bank shareholder forums are even slightly related to cult meetings. Iâm just explaining why people sometimes donât speak up.